The Art of Being “Big Girl”

Let me say from the outset that I’m not a major fan of this “big girl” stuff.

Allow me to explain.

When you are little, you pretty much don’t have a lot to worry about. And even if you do have things to worry about, you don’t know it, so it’s essentially the same thing. But when you are little, the one thing you want more than anything else, is to be BIG. My father used to enjoy telling the story about how I once toddled into the living room and announced, “By golly, I did it! I climbed out my crib!” The rest is history.

But I have news for you. Being “Big Girl” is not all it’s cracked up to be. Still, you have to do it, and since this is the month when we would have celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary, I thought I would share some of my observations with you.There seems to be a rule of “firsts” when it comes to life after the loss of a spouse. It makes things that shouldn’t be that hard seem like major disasters. Like the first time you come out of a store and notice your tire is completely flat because there is a nail in it. There are only two plans. Plan A and Plan C.

Plan A: Sit down on a bench and cry. Plan C: Call CarlosThat’s Kate’s hand on the right holding the tire gauge.But the next time you run over a nail with the same tire, it won’t be such a big deal. You will just drive to Sears and get a new tire before it goes all the way flat. There were some “big girl” jobs I had already been trained for. Like the car wash. When Mark no longer had the strength to take the car to the carwash every week, that became my job. I’ve gotten pretty good at it, the carwash people know me and I know my way around. Mark was adamant that the car be washed each week because he said it increases the trade in value of the vehicle if you have taken good care of it.He was proven right when, in 2014 we traded in our 2005 RAV4 for the car I have now. The guy at the car lot went on and on about what good shape the RAV was for its age. Besides keeping your car clean, you also have to make sure the oil gets changed at the proper intervals. This was also something I was already “trained” to do by myself. I don’t mind saying I still get scared every time I have to drive my car onto those little tracks you have to go on. I have to bribe myself by telling myself I can get Starbucks afterwards if I will just be “big girl” enough to go do it.Like so many other things in life, when you come out on the other side you will feel so much better!While we’re on the subject of cars, here’s a bit of “big girl” advice: If your car battery starts looking like this, and it’s the original battery from 2014, you are eventually going to walk into your garage and find out your car will not start. Thank God for friends who are there to help you out of what really should have been an avoidable emergency!By the way, big girls are not afraid to travel by themselves. They may be afraid to drive over mountains and on freeways, but they are not afraid to take Amtrak. Just saying.If you are going to be “big girl” you will definitely need tools.Because you just never know what you might decide to fix.Speaking of fixing things, it takes being “big girl” to fix his favorite meal for the first time when it’s just for yourself.When being “big girl” gets to be too much, coffee and ice cream come in very handy.Kitty slippers also help.Real kitties help even more.